This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
