so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize