I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize