can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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