dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
