at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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