I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
