ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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