New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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