there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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