And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.