your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a blind-side dick pic.