He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.