I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize