I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
