she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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