tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize