he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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