I feel great
I just peed on a car
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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