everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
