Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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