You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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