We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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