I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
