I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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