look no pants
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.