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Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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