You work out of a Hotel?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH