She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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