Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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