best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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