I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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