so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
