so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
