So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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