I got chris browned last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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