Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
