whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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