I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize