I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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