I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
