I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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