She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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