Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.