you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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