My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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