sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
