Welp...herpes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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