hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.