just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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