He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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