It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
