So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.