I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize