i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're a waste of cheezeits
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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